Why Being Tall is Worse Than Having a Third Arm Growing Out Your Back

For those of you who don't know me, or as a refresher for those of you who do, I am really really tall. Not the tallest by any means, but I hit the measuring tape just a smidge under 6 feet. Now, all my life i have endured the many challenges that accompany this state of being, and I have kept (mostly) quiet about my frustrations....BUT NOT ANYMORE. Short girls think they have it bad? HAH! Think again! Tall girls have it WAY worse.
Here's why:

Exhibit A: Shopping. Tall people, like myself, can never just go out and buy whatever they want and know it will look good. No. Every pair of jeans has to be ordered in extra long, every shirt, while it may be the right size, comes up above your bellybutton, you have to look for the BIG. YELLOW. TAGS. At DSW that say "Size 11" because your feet have to be enormous to offset your vertical giftedness. Life is just inconvenient...And don't even talk to me about high heels. While they may look good, even an extra inch off the ground make you a giant compared to everyone else...especially in high school.

Exhibit B: You have to play Basketball. You just do. I cannot count the number of times people have asked me if I play this sport...And I don't. I played for two seasons and middle school, and if I did well, people gave ALL the credit to my height, and if I sucked, well, I never heard the end of it...because really, what tall person is BAD at Basketball?

Exhibit C: The Dating world is 10X harder. Wanna know what I hate most? When I see a perfectly good guy who is OVER 6'2-3'' and he's walking down the halls, holding hands with some chick who should still be using a booster seat in the car. It makes me want to karate chop their knee caps. In all reality, tall girls don't want to date short guys. they just don't. In no Disney movie does Prince Charming EVER come up to Cinderella's boobs. SO WHY THE HELL DO TALL GUYS DATE SHORT GIRLS? Tall girls are easier to hug, easier to dance with, less awkward to look down at, and they smell nicer.

Maybe that last one's a lie, but I'm taking every opportunity I can get so that I don't end up crying my eyes out on prom night while eating a tub of Rocky Road Ice Cream and watching "The Notebook."...and I REALLY hate that movie.

Exhibit D: You're always in the back for pictures. nobody can see your face, and no one cares if you get cut out. Kodak moment my ass.....

Exhibit E: You hit your head on everything. And people get mad at you for it...doorways, chandeliers, streamers, your grandma's urn, I've been in contact with it all.

Exhibit F: People sitting behind me HATE my guts. It doesn't matter if it's in school at a desk, at the movies, or at a concert: EVERYONE hates me. They can't see because they're midget sized body got stuck behind the skyscraper...so then I have to sink down in my chair and as a result, get out of class feeling like I've been run over by a semi truck. I'm sorry. My mother fed me too many vegetables before I could talk and I had no way of stopping her.

...The below image is basically the story of my life. except I am neither Asian nor male.~Eeeeeds